My Neighbor Is A Hucow?

by Bessie Hucow

Book Cover: My Neighbor Is A Hucow?

Investigating odd mooing sounds in the middle of the night, Adam is led to his hot next-door-neighbor’s living room where he finds June slowly turning into a Hucow. With eight succulent orbs on her stomach and chest and growing larger by the minute, she begs for him to help her. They enlist the help of her close friend and farmer, Carla, who brings over pumping equipment and milk canisters to help stem the flow.

Will they find a way to reverse the situation? Or will she forever be saddled with the shame and discomfort of being a Hucow? Take a peek inside for some hot Hucow action!


The first moment when I realized something weird was going on was the first night of fall. See, I usually sleep with my fan on, but now that the temps here have dropped, I don't need to any more.

I heard faint, odd-sounding moo calls. A cow mooing in the middle of the night? That was strange, indeed.

I tried to shut it out of my mind and just roll over and go back to sleep. Nope. That damn cow was stuck or hurt or something. From my upstairs bedroom, I couldn't tell how far away it was. So, I did the only thing I knew to do: called the cops. I told them that I thought I'd heard an injured cow in the neighborhood. They told me (after some giggles) that they'd send someone right out. I asked them to call me and let me know what they found out.


I turned on the fan for white noise and pushed it away from me so I wouldn't get too cold and fell back asleep. About a half-an-hour later, I get a call from the cop who says they checked all around the neighborhood and found nothing.

Maybe the hurt cow escaped or something. I turned off my fan and immediately heard the faint mooing again. Was I going crazy? This wasn't some weird mental disease, was it? I quickly booted up the computer and checked just to make sure. That was when I stumbled across something that intrigued and shocked the hell out of me. Apparently, there was some kind of kinky fetish called Hucow where women dress up and go around pretending they're cows, often mooing and squirting breast milk into pails - sometimes with bondage involved.

I heard the cow again. Realizing that I wasn't going to get any fucking sleep knowing that there could be an injured animal in the neighborhood, I grabbed my jacket, stuffed myself into some pants and headed outside with a flashlight in my hands. I was going to find that God-damned cow if it took me all night. Or, prove to myself that I was, indeed, crazy. Or, perhaps, both.

Do you know how incredibly stupid I felt standing outside my house in the middle of the night listening for the faint sounds of a cow? When I heard it again - a bit louder this time - I became bound and determined to find it. I was going to walk until I couldn't walk any more. Why? Who the hell knows. Maybe it had to do with that extra shot of whiskey right before bed. Whatever the reason, I wanted to find and - if possible - help the poor moo.

I frowned when - upon following the faint mooing - I ended up at my next door neighbor's house. Surely she didn't buy a cow and stick it in her house, right? I mean, sane people don't do stuff like that. Do they? Then again, sane people don't wander around the neighborhood in the middle of the night looking for cows.


About the Author

Bessie Hucow is a cow. She likes doing cow things such as mooing and eating grass. She also likes to write very dirty stories. How does a cow write dirty stories? Simple, she nicked a computer and brought it into her barn where she writes under lamplight in the middle of the night when all her humans think she's asleep.

Why? To bring you the very best stories that a cow can write.

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