Knocked up and Mooing

by Bessie Hucow

Book Cover: Knocked up and Mooing

Marjorie just wanted to be an actress. But answering a casting call for a Western being shot in her hometown turned out to be an extraordinary experience. One that she will be mooing about for a long time. Come along with Marjorie as she literally takes on the role of Hucow. How will she react when she finds out that she won’t be needing a costume?

Will she be taken hard and without protection by a big, black man? Take a peek inside for a hot preview and pick up your copy today!


"Oh my God, Don! They called! They said I'm in!" I shouted to my husband and danced around our small, cramped apartment. I couldn't believe that they actually called me back. I'm going to be a movie star! Oh my God, Oh my God!

"That's nice, dear," my grumpy husband said, not even taking his eyes off the paper. Ever since he'd lost his job, he'd become a miserable grouch. That's why I decided with no money coming in, I might as well go for my dreams - right? I'd only ever acted in one play, but it was enough to fuel my life-long passion. I was born to act.

I held my head up high and strutted around the room, picking up dishes and doing my wifely duties. Soon, I was going to leave this life behind and become the famous actress that I knew I could be. Not only was I going to be famous - but rich, too. And then I could hire a maid to do all this dirty work.


As I was finishing up with the dishes, Don came into the kitchen and put his dirty dishes in the sink. "Did they say what part you'd be playing?"

I sighed in frustration - why couldn't he have given me his dishes before I started? "Well, uh..." I tried to think back to what the director said. "Something about a cow. Don't say it!" I pointed at him.

"I didn't say a word," he mocked, throwing his hands up in the air.

Dammit! I was going to make it. I'm sure some of the greats started out with shitty roles. If I had to start my illustrious acting career as a cow, I was determined to be the best cow I could possibly be.

An hour later, my husband - bless his hardened little heart - called out from the living room, "Would you stop that infernal mooing? I'm sure that you'll have no trouble remembering your lines."

I couldn't help it. I was so wound up that I called my best friend, Janet and we talked for hours, even pouring over everything we could get our hands on about cows. By the time I was ready to hit the sack, I felt as if I was the foremost authority on cows. Of course, I even dreamed about the Godammed animals.

This was going to be a hell of a week.


About the Author

Bessie Hucow is a cow. She likes doing cow things such as mooing and eating grass. She also likes to write very dirty stories. How does a cow write dirty stories? Simple, she nicked a computer and brought it into her barn where she writes under lamplight in the middle of the night when all her humans think she's asleep.

Why? To bring you the very best stories that a cow can write.

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