Hucow The Moo Cow (Part 1)

by Bessie Hucow

Jack was in a bit of a pickle. His best dairy cow, Bessie, has gone missing and he’s got a milk route to complete.

It isn’t until explaining to his expressing wife that he hits on the idea: he can use her to replace the cow!

Come along on this wacky adventure and find out what happens when Jack’s wife becomes a Hucow for the first time. This story will moove you!


"Peggy, wake up!" I felt my shoulder being shaken, but my mind hadn't yet swam to the surface of consciousness yet.

"Wake up!" The voice was distant, but urgent. I rustled myself out of my deep sleep, opened my eyes and saw my husband in a near-state of panic.

"What's wrong, Jack?" I asked, my mouth and mind barely working. Adrenaline coursed through my body. Jack was a rock. He was large, quiet and very strong. I don't think I'd ever seen him in such a state.
"Bessie's gone!"

"What?" I blinked my eyes and rubbed the sleep out of them. I could feel my leaky breasts and knew that I was going to have to express them soon or they would likely explode. At least that's how they felt.
"One of our cows, Peggy!"

"Gone? How did that happen?" I sat bolt upright in bed. This was serious.

"I don't know," he ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. "Maybe a cattle rustler or one of the neighbor boys left the fence open."


I stared at him in shock. "How are you going to deliver the milk?"

"I don't know," he said pensively. "I figger I've got enough for all but three or four."

I thought about our predicament for a moment, but couldn't figure what to do about it. We were going to have to get the cow back, that was for sure. But until then, we had to do something about our customers. Many of these people had been loyal purchasers since Jack's father started the dairy twenty years ago in the '30's. He'd gone along on the rides with him every morning and learned the ins and outs of the business. He could also milk a cow in nothing flat - a trick his grandpa taught him.

We were still a small operation - after all, there was just one driver - him. So, when you only have three cows, losing one is a big deal. I didn't think we could afford to replace her either - not yet, anyway. So we really were in a conundrum. These people expected their daily milk and cheese. We were going to have to figure something out - and soon.

Unconsciously, I massaged my full, aching breasts. I needed to get started on my day. Ever since the accident with the baby, I'd had plenty of extra milk that I had to flush down the bathtub three times a day. Too late, my breasts were already starting to leak. A droplet of life-giving sustenance clung to my nipple and soaked through my nightie.

"Honey, I don't know what we're going to do, but I've got to express this milk or we're going to be cleaning it up off the floor." I started to get up, but he stopped me.

"What did you say?" His face lit up.

"I've got to --"

"Milk. You said milk!" He danced and hopped around like a maniac. "Why didn't I think about that?"

"I think you did. Mind explaining what you're blabbering on about?" I asked. My breasts were really starting to hurt. And my husband - God bless his sweet heart - was starting to annoy me.

"We need milk, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't see..."

He lifted up my shirt and squeezed one of my breasts. I groaned as milk sprayed forth all over him. "See, you have milk. I can't believe it! Let's go!" He ran out of the room and grabbed his coat, hat and keys before I could say another word. I started to get dressed, but he ran back in and dragged me to the truck before I could.


About the Author

Bessie Hucow is a cow. She likes doing cow things such as mooing and eating grass. She also likes to write very dirty stories. How does a cow write dirty stories? Simple, she nicked a computer and brought it into her barn where she writes under lamplight in the middle of the night when all her humans think she's asleep.

Why? To bring you the very best stories that a cow can write.

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