Genie’s Lamp 1: Genie Mind Controlled My Mother

by Amber FoxxFire

Book Cover: Genie's Lamp 1: Genie Mind Controlled My Mother

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I never believed in those stupid genie lamps. They were all just made-up bullshit to sell movies. That's it. Nothing magical or special about them.

Hell, there were hundreds down at the local antique dealer. What if I were to - on a lark - go down and rub every single one of them? Would 100 genies pop out and fight to give me the best wishes?

Excerpt:

I never believed in those stupid genie lamps. They were all just made-up bullshit to sell movies. That's it. Nothing magical or special about them.

Hell, there were hundreds down at the local antique dealer. What if I were to - on a lark - go down and rub every single one of them? Would 100 genies pop out and fight to give me the best wishes? Or would the proprietor yell at me and make me buy them as they're now damaged goods?

I mean, the odds are certainly in my favor that I'm right. But what if I was wrong?

 

Okay, so fresh home from college, I hadn't seen my mother in a few months and was a bit bored. Why not? Why not go down to Ian's Antiques and rub all the lamps. Fun stuff, you know? Maybe I'd get lucky and hit the jackpot? Or - more likely - he'd just kick me out.

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Hell, I didn't even know what I would wish for - not that it mattered as genies weren't real. Just like Santa Claus and the fucking tooth fairy. Yeah, am I supposed to believe in that horseshit, too?

After a few beers, I decided to take a stroll. Fucking genies. The movies made it look like one could just walk along the beach, find an ancient, brand-new-looking magic lamp, rub it and have everything at your fingertips. Three wishes and you couldn't wish for more wishes.

Who the hell came up with that stupid rule?

Fuck that shit! If I freed a genie from their magical prison, that was the first thing I was going to wish for. Give me my wishes, bitch or Imma put you back inside.

Who the hell was going around imprisoning genies anyway? What the hell did they do to deserve that?

I'll tell you what they did to deserve that: They wouldn't give their masters unlimited wishes, that's what.

Why was I on such a rant about genies? Who the hell knows, boredom is a hell of a drug.

"Hello, good sir --"

"Stuff it, Ian. Just show me where them sumbitches are." I growled.

"Beg pardon?"

"The magical genies, man. The magical genies! I know you're hiding them from me! Now fess up!"

COLLAPSE

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