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I know it sounds absurd, but it's the god's honest truth.
One minute I was walking along an old country road, just kicking cans and pondering my life and the next minute I was talking to a fucking genie! It was insane. At first I thought I'd actually gone insane.
No one was around except some random farmhouse with their stupid, barking dog.
Saw the shiny lamp sticking out of the ground - just as big as you please - and of course I picked it up. I watched Aladdin. I know what happens when you see a golden lamp.
Cleaned that sucker up and a moment later - in a spectacular puff of smoke and sound - a god damned genie popped out.
A fucking genie!
It wasn't some hot, hunky dude, either. He was a slob and a half. But, either way, he gave me the standard spiel - asked me what my three wishes were and told me that I couldn't ask for more wishes.
So, I told him:
1. I want a million dollars. I mean, with that, I can buy my own fucking wishes.
2. I want a mansion on a private island. I've always wanted to be a beach bum.
And...
3. I want to be able to fuck my 19-year-old daughter, Cindy, anytime, anywhere I want. No questions asked.
The genie snorted and asked if that was all.
"What? The island too expensive for you?"
"No." He boomed. "It's just that I've never had anyone ask to bang their own relation before. You sure about that?" He folded his flabby arms across his chest and peered down at me over wire spectacles.
"Have you seen her?" I asked, my dick rising in my pants at just the thought.
"Oh yeah, I fully get it. She fucking hot. But...incest?"
"Sure, why not? Why the hell are you questioning my wishes? Is that standard?"