On Safari with my husband, we meet a witch doctor and a bull elephant. I have not had good sex in ages, but the witch doctor casts a spell on myself and the elephant to solve that problem.
So here we were, just my husband Tom and I on Safari in Africa. It felt so good to get away from it all, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, deadlines, bills to pay etc.
And truth be told, we had needed to do something to reinvigorate our relationship, because things hadn’t been great between us lately. Indeed, we had hardly had sex at all for months, and on the rare occasion that we did, well, let’s just say that the earth did not exactly move.
We drove along admiring all the magnificent beasts that the African plains had to offer; the lions, the zebras, the antelopes…and the elephants.
“Look at this”, I proclaimed to Tom.
“Wow”, he replied, “that must be a bull.”
The eleven foot tall, seven ton behemoth lumbered toward us, flapping his immense ears and raising his trunk to unleash a mighty trumpeting which sounded like it could have carried across the continent.
Tom stopped the car all of a sudden.
There was a man right in front of us, waiving for us to stop. He was a tall black men dressed in red robes and some very strange headwear that had huge horns protruding from either side.
I knew it was dangerous, but I felt the sudden need to get out of the car. My head was suddenly consumed with the thought that I had to touch the mighty elephant that was upon us.
“No don’t”, said Tom, “you can’t, we were told to stay in the car at all times for our safety.“
“Oh to hell with all that Tom”, I snapped at him. “You only live once for goodness sake.”
I flung the door open and made my way toward the magnificent beast, it was almost as if some magnetic force were drawing him toward him.
And then the black man with the strange head-dress spoke to me.
“Me witch doctor. Welcome to my country. You find it difficult to pronounce my true name. In your language I am one they call, ‘Man who make elephant fuck white woman.’ In Africa we have ancient saying ‘She who not get fuck good enough need elephant trunk very much in pussy’”