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Just turned 18, I was already done with guys. They were lewd, crude and sick. I figured I'd be better off marrying my dog or something. At least he wouldn't cheat on me with every bitch in town.
Well...maybe he would. But I'd still rather marry a dog.
So, that's exactly what I did.
Just turned 18, I was already done with guys. They were lewd, crude and sick. I figured I'd be better off marrying my dog or something. At least he wouldn't cheat on me with every bitch in town.
Well...maybe he would. But I'd still rather marry a dog.
So, that's exactly what I did.
Oh man, did it cause a HUGE uproar in the family. I got called every nasty, filthy name in the book by my family when I told them of my plans. The one who didn't say something were the ones who didn't believe I'd do it - that it was just a cry for attention.
And maybe it was. Where were all the nice guys, anyway?
It caused such an uproar that I packed my stuff and ran away in the middle of the night. Leaving my family - and job - in the lurch. But - you know what? Fuck them!
READ MOREI didn't leave by myself. Nope, I took my life-long pal, Buddy - technically my father's dog, even though I was the one who fed and looked after him - and absconded to Mexico. Surely I could find some underground priest down there to marry me to the beast.
And I was right. It took some searching, but once I started asking around - discreetly, of course - I quickly found someone who'd marry me to a rock for the right price.
It was a short - but sweet - wedding. Just me, the dog and some drunk guy who didn't even know what day of the week it was.
"You may now kiss the...bride..." The priest stuttered, then reached into his briefcase, took out a bottle and sat next to the drunk guy and shook his head.
"Fiancée stand you up?" The drunk guy slurred.
"Nope. I'm marrying my dog." I explained.
"Oh. Okay, that's it. I'm off the tipple from now on!" He grumbled and walked out.
Kneeling down on the dusty floor, I took Buddy's head in my hands and looked him square in the eyes. Those beautiful, brown eyes. So haunting.
Buddy was a pure, jet-black Black Lab. He was a good 100+ pounds of pure muscle and energy. And - for as long as I can remember - he was always there for me. If I was sick, he'd lay by my side. If I was having a bad day - he'd try to cheer me up.
"Listen, Buddy. I know you don't understand, but you and I - we're married now. Til death do us part. Now we've got to consummate our marriage."
Up until now, I'd remained a virgin. Never even looked at a guy. But I was right - we HAD to consummate our marriage. That meant...fucking the dog. A shiver - of lust, fear, I didn't know - raced through my body. I cradled the large dog's head in my arms, then popped open my mouth.
That always got him. Buddy was always trying to sneak that tongue inside everyone's mouth - and sometimes he even succeeded!
I laughed as the moment I'd parted my ruby-red lips, his tongue was right inside. But this time, instead of pushing him away, I let him kiss me.
Yeah, it was a bit weird. Having a dog French kiss me. But I felt it was now my duty - as his officially-married wifey - to follow and obey him. After all, he was my husband and I was to do whatever he said.
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